Owen, you are weaned. After 945 days and countless hours, we have "broken up." In the early days, when you nursed for hours and hours on end, it felt like you'd never stop. It's as if I've blinked and you're now two and a half and we have read the last page of that chapter of your life.
The last time you nursed was Monday, June 29, 2009. It was late at night and we had just gotten home from Hershey. "Nurse you, Mommy," you cried as we went into bed. You nursed, asked, "other side peas, Mommy" and then fell asleep shortly thereafter. I gently pulled away from you and crept out of your room hoping you wouldn't wake. At the time, I didn't know it was going to be the last time.
Yesterday, I decided to stop. I wanted a couple nights without the kids here in case it was upsetting for you. Last night, you fussed for a minute, cried a little, and then pushed me out of your bed, hugging Daddy and wanting only him. You fell asleep in about fifteen minutes.
Tonight, you wanted us both. You cried to nurse but were okay when I read you your little Hersheypark photo album. Then you wanted Daddy and I to lie with you . . . you gripped us in your little death grip hug over and over. After about a half hour, I said goodnight and left the room. Ten minutes later you were asleep. A bit harder tonight than last night, but I think your nap today threw you off.
You've been through a lot of changes in the past two months. Your own bed, your own room, and now no more nursing. I try to keep that in mind when you seem clingy and whiny. You are dealing okay with it all, but we've noticed an increased need to be hugged and held when you're feeling tired or unsure. You've always been like that, and I guess it's just your personality.
I think this was a good time to wean. You are very verbal and can express yourself and can understand what I tell you more than before. I am ready to let go, though it is bittersweet. Nursing you was one of the most amazing things I have ever done, and it totally changed me as a person. We had a very close bond, and it's amazing how that bond is not disappearing but simply changing and evolving. You are still very much attached to me, and I feel good knowing that my presense puts you at ease and brings you comfort.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little emotinal. And you're a little emotional, but we'll be fine. My instincts tell me it's time, and when I told you how proud I was of you for going to sleep without nursing last night, you smiled and hugged me and seemed very proud of yourself.
Know that even though you are getting older and bigger and turning into a boy more and more everyday, you are still my baby.